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How to Get Sick

How to create the perfect environment to get COVID-19

(or really any illness!)

So you’ve decided that you want to get COVID-19 (said no one ever!). Here’s what to do…

1. Eat Junk Food!

This includes processed refined sugar and carbs and artificial sweeteners. This is to deplete your body of nutrients and depress your immune system so they can’t patrol and fight invading viruses and bacteria

2. Consume Junk Drinks

This includes soda pop, energy drinks, beer, wine, and specialty coffees (a Venti white chocolate mocha with whipped cream should do the trick! - 73g sugar!). These are drinks that are high in sugar, caffeine, and/or alcohol – something that viruses and bacteria feed off of. Don’t drink any water! – This will further deplete nutrients from your body, stress your adrenal glands, liver and kidneys, and add chemicals and toxins to your body. Nice!

3. Don’t Sleep!

Go to bed after midnight and get less than 6 hours of sleep every night or better yet – don’t sleep! – This is to ensure your energy remains low, your immune system stays suppressed and toxins and waste products build up in your body. Perfect!

4. Lie Around All Day

Don’t move your body (especially don’t lift weights or exercise!). Just lie around all day and perform tip #6 below – This helps keep circulation and lymphatic system sluggish decreasing your body’s ability to remove waste and transport immune cells.

5. Don’t Go Outside

Especially in the sun or in nature! If you must go out, cover yourself in plenty of sunscreen (more chemicals – yay!) and clothing to avoid sun and nature exposure – Doing these things increases your mood and energy which makes your immune system more powerful. We don’t want that if we are wanting to get sick.

6. Think Negative Thoughts!

Think negative thoughts about yourself and others and allow yourself to wallow in stress, anxiety, misery, and loneliness – This does wonders for rapidly decreasing your health and vitality, especially your immune system! Hey, you might even get an autoimmune disease or cancer!

You do the above 6 things faithfully, or even semi-faithfully, and I guarantee you will get sick. If not COVID-19, than something else far worse! If you’ve decided that your goal is to not create the perfect environment to get sick, then simply do the opposite of the above 6 tips 😉

Consume quality, nutrient-dense whole-foods. Go to bed a couple hours before midnight. Drink water daily and regularly. Move your body daily. Get out in the sun and nature! Think positive thoughts - Connect with others and let them know you care about them. Be of service to others. These 6 practices are part of the foundations of health! Do these consistently, every day and watch your health and vitality soar!

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